Im sorry Buzz

Today was a rough day. My mom woke me up, after I didn't sleep all night, and told me we had to put our dog Buzz to sleep. First of all, Buzz is my best friend. We grew up together. His mom was my families dog before I was born and Buzz was born around the same time I was. He always knew what I was feeling, and knew how to cheer me up. He was great. Recently he just hasn't been the same. He has slowly declined in health and become really weak. He wasn't the happy, full of energy, Buzz I knew. Even when he was old he would run around with me and just seem so excited. Now he can barely move. He was going blind and deaf, and had, what looked like an infection in his gums. When my mom told me this horrible news I was devastated. I immediately began crying. Why must EVERYTHING be going wrong for me these days? I have lost so much, I just couldn't lose Buzz now. I laid crying in my bed for a long time before my mom told me I needed to get ready to go to the vet...I got dressed and fixed my hair while still crying. When I got into the car my mom put Buzz, laying in a towel, on my lap. I took one look into his beautiful eyes and began to cry again. He seemed so scared. As we got closer to the vet its like he could sense something was wrong. He began to whine and move around. I couldn't believe we were doing this. When we got to the vet, we slowly got out of the car and walked in. A man at the front asked us how we were in the most cheerful voice. We couldn't even answer as we walked by him. How are we?? We are about to put my best friend to sleep! How do you think we are? We were checked in at the front desk and put into a little room. Buzz still in my arms. I couldn't let him go. After a while of me hugging Buzz and crying the vet walked in.... She evaluated Buzz and told us the sore he had on his gums was most likely cancer...And that he has been having trouble breathing, But was hanging onto life because he loved us. That's what really broke me. My poor little Buzzy Wuzzy has been suffering and I didn't even know it. That's when I knew this hard decision was the right one. I couldn't be selfish and keep him here, he was suffering. The vet took him out of my arms to bring him to the back to put an IV catheter in his arm. When she left the little room I just burst out sobbing. I don't want him to go. I could hear Buzz crying in the back. I knew it was him. She brought him back in and handed him to me and I just hugged him and cried. I couldn't do it. I love him too much. I sobbed into his neck as I hugged him. He lifted his little head, looked me in my tear filled eyes, and licked my cheek. As if to say he loved me. I kept saying I was sorry. I'm so sorry Buzz. I love you. He continued to lick my tears away, he was trying to tell me it was his time. It would be ok. The doctor came in to give him the final shot. When I saw that needle I lost it. I completely lost it. I was crying so hard I couldn't see a thing. She slowly gave him the shot as I held him. He licked me one last time before I felt his body go limp. That was it. He was gone The vet carried his lifeless body away as I curled up and cried. Hes gone forever. I already miss him so much. I will always miss him.